It's been a while since I've written a blog post, mostly because I've been too busy with work, and partly because I simply haven't had any inspiration for writing. Recent events, however, has compelled me to write down my thoughts about an extremely important factor of all human lives -- identity.
We don't really stop to consider what our identity is or how it affects our lives; probably because it is such an integral and natural part of us as a human being that we often take it for granted. Consider, for a moment, what your identity is and how you hold on to it. We identify ourselves with nationality, race, religion, hair color, skin color, eye color, and even with interests and hobbies. We create labels for every aspect of our lives in order to identify ourselves and others.
"He's a gamer."
"Ohhh. He probably doesn't have a life."
Gamer. Hipster. Gangster. Nerd. Geek. These and a ton of other words are all labels that we've created and use to segregate people, whether they're friends, family, or acquaintances, and even ourselves. The ironic part is that the people who we don't even know -- those we have the least knowledge of and have the least amount of right to judge -- are the ones we label and segregate the most.
Why do we instinctively label things and desperately hold on to our identity? Perhaps because without it, we would all be lost. In most cases, people's biggest fear apart from death is the loss of identity. Not having an identity means not having anywhere to belong. It means not having companions, motivation, or purpose. If we identify ourselves with being Asian, for example, it gives us drive to promote various aspects unique to Asian culture. It gives us pride and a meaningful reason to continue in this otherwise dreary and tedious passing of time we call life.
"Got rice, bitch?"
Yes, identity is absolutely critical and essential to keep us sane.
Identity is also the source of most of our happiness and, more significantly, most of our troubles. Arguments, violence, and even wars are started over identity.
The recent bombings that occurred in France really hit a spot in my heart. It made me angry and sad, and it made me think about what we have done to ourselves as humans for the sake of identity.
This morning, I received a call from a friend. He's from China and has been living in Japan for over 20 years. His wife is Japanese, and he just recently had a baby. He called to tell me that he has decided to change his nationality from China to Japan. I'm not so shocked about his decision as I am about his reason. His wife felt that having a Chinese nationality would be disadvantageous to them as a family living in Japan. She felt that it would be harmful to their child's reputation, and could cause damage to his future.
If that's not discrimination, I don't know what is.
He's in a very similar situation as me. I lived in Japan for around 30 years. My wife is also Japanese, and my kid, like his, also has dual citizenship (for now); and yet, through all the years I've lived in Japan, I never came close to deciding on naturalization. I've considered it, but I never felt it was a real option for me.
I'm not sure why, actually. Was it because I felt strongly about being Malaysian? No. Not really. Was it because I had political or moral issues? No. Certainly not. Now that I think about it, I think it was probably because it simply felt strange to identify myself as Japanese. No matter how long I lived there, how much I was recognized by people around me as a Japanese, and no matter how much I became Japanese in my habits, I just didn't identify myself as a Japanese.
Sure, there are a lot of conveniences that would have came from naturalizing. I certainly haven't lived long enough in Malaysia to actually need or have use for my Malaysian citizenship, but it wasn't about all that. It was less about what it meant to be a particular nationality than it was about retaining my original identity and not changing it to something that I felt no instinctive connection to.
Would my life be better if I had chosen to naturalize myself as a Japanese? Possibly. Who knows? Would my family be happier if I had done it? Maybe, but I don't think about it.
My point is, our identities are crucial; so crucial that it can even cause wars and the destruction of families. Yet, this friend of mine has decided to give up his original (and in a sense, his true) identity because his wife's views on identity are, well, for the lack of a better expression, fucked up.
This brings me to Malaysia. We often say "embrace diversity" in Malaysia, but no one actually really considers what that means. It not only means holding on to and cherishing your identity, it also means to respect, treasure, and even learn to love other people's identities. Because everyone needs to hold on to their identity, if you don't respect other people's right to it, it means that you also have no right to hold onto yours.
Having an identity is truly essential, but when it gets overboard, things get out of hand quickly. I urge everyone -- especially my fellow Malaysians -- to moderate yourselves in the labeling of others. Excessive labeling is distasteful, disrespectful, and ultimately dangerous.
By all means, identify yourself to keep yourself happy. We all need to. But respect everyone else's need to do it as well.
