Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Traffic Accident & My Broken BM

Recently, I got into a traffic accident. This is a record of the accident and its aftermath, mostly for my benefit, but hopefully to also act as a reference for the folks out there who are concerned or have questions about what to do or what happens when getting into a traffic accident in Malaysia; especially for the expats who don't speak BM and don't know what the fuck is going on with this country in general.

After attending an ex-colleague/friend's full moon party earlier this month, I was on my way home via DUKE highway. Unfortunately, I got on in the wrong direction, so I had to go through the toll gate, get off immediately, and u-turn back on the highway to face the right direction.

As I frustratingly got through the SmartTag gate, I turned on my left turn signal, and crossed from the right all the way to the left towards the exit across roughly 5 lanes worth of road (I say "roughly" because there are no lines on the road immediately before and after the toll gates, which is something I really think should be fixed). Once I got to the most left lane, I slowed down to be sure I wasn't running into any oncoming traffic that had just entered the highway from behind and trying to merge into the mainstream traffic.

And wouldn't you know it, a motorcycle came crashing into the left back side of my car. I was watching the whole thing, so I saw the guy with his head down -- probably texting on his phone -- come crashing into my car from behind, bounce, and hop off as his motorcycle went skidding towards the wall. Luckily for both of us, this happened during low traffic on a Sunday night, and at the very left side where there was almost no traffic at all.

I immediately stopped my car at the side of the road, got out, and ran over to the rider. I asked him if he was all right, whether he was hurt badly, and if he wanted me to call an ambulance or the police. He hopped around a bit on one leg, showcasing that the crash had hurt one of his legs, then proceeded to do something on his phone, ignoring my questions and concern. He then sat down on the side of the road, so I sat down next to him and repeated my previous questions. This time, he told me that he was fine, and that he was going to call his friend to come pick him up since his motorcycle was wrecked and wouldn't start.

While I felt pity for the guy, I also couldn't help but think to myself that he really needs to be more careful about how he rides, since it could've easily been much worse. I then asked him if it was okay for me to leave. He nodded and said, "Ya". So I left.

A week later, I received a letter from the police summoning me to the police station. Apparently, the motorcycle rider had made a police report of the accident, probably because he wanted to claim insurance. Knowing that the police in Malaysia often do not speak -- or refuse to speak -- English, I contacted my Malay buddy and asked for him to accompany me to the police station, which he graciously agreed to.

So we headed down to the police station in KL near China Town to make the report. As expected, my friend was of great help, getting me through the whole process much much faster than I could ever hope to on my own. To my dismay, though, we were told that the sergeant in charge of my case was not on duty and that I had to come again in a couple of days. Luckily, though, we were also informed that this particular sergeant speaks English, so we got my paperwork finished and headed home.

The next morning, I received a phone call from the sergeant in charge of my case to confirm that I was going to visit him. I confirmed and headed out there again the next day as agreed.

I headed into the sergeant's office and was told to wait outside. A few minutes later, the sergeant came outside to call me in. At this point, I was already surprised at the very professional way the sergeant was handling his visitor. Anyway, I get in, sit down at the sergeant's desk, pass him the paperwork, and as expected, the sergeant starts to speak to me in BM.

"Sorry. I don't speak Bahasa."

"But you're Malaysian! Why you don't speak Bahasa!"

Dude. I get your point, but you really don't need to shout it for the whole room to hear.

"I spent most of my life overseas -- about 30 years (I said tiga puluh tahun in an attempt to please him) in Japan."

"Kerja di Jepun?" Oh, this one I understand.

"Yes. I studied and worked there."

"Good money lah."

"Uhhh, not so bad."

The sergeant snickers and proceeds to process my paperwork.

"Okaaay. You explain to me the accident."

Before I could open my mouth, the sergeant continued.

"In Bahasa."

My pupils dilated like a scared puppy's.

"You try lah! If I don't understand then you explain in English also can."

While thinking about the horror of unleashing my tremendously limited and broken BM, I nodded reluctantly and spoke.

"Saya pandu di DUKE. Saya keluar dari SmartTag kemudian pergi kiri."

The sergeant chuckled and nodded for me to continue.

"Moto itu masuk highway dari kiri. Saya lihat moto itu, tapi dia memandu sangat laju!"

This got the sergeant to laugh a bit out loud, but he motioned to me with a thumbs up to show that he understood me. So I continued.

"Then crash."

The sergeant smiled, told me that the story was pretty much the same as what the rider of the motorcycle had told him, and even showed me the drawing the rider had drawn of the accident, which was pretty accurate.

Then the next part truly came as a surprise.

The sergeant told me that it was obvious from our recount of the accident that there was no fault on my part, and that the motorcycle should have yielded to me before trying to merge. He told me to go get photos taken of the damage on my car and to go home and wait for the official report.

Until that point, I had been told by friends and relatives and tweeters that in Malaysia, if a car gets into an accident with a motorcycle, 99.9% the car will be declared at fault. Well, either my case was a miracle, or common sense does still prevail, even in a country as seemingly fucked up as this one.

So, to everyone out there who still believes that you can't win in an accident with a motorcycle, you just never know until you actually try. If you truly did nothing wrong, the possibility of it turning out in your favor is still there; and if it doesn't, well, just be grateful if no one died or got hurt seriously. Also, please please please don't go charging at the other party in anger after an accident. Be courteous and kind. No one wants to be in an accident intentionally (except the scammers, of course), and please always remember that making sure no one is hurt badly should always be the top priority.

And to the sergeant who was in charge of my case who will probably never read this, thank you for your professional manner with which you dealt with the case, and thank you for giving me the opportunity to show off what a bad ass I am at speaking BM.

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